The neediness of my friend exposes the kind of line one draws in the sand, where friendship is defined as: “Affection, sympathy, empathy, honesty, altruism, mutual understanding and compassion, the enjoyment of each other’s company, trust, and the ability to be oneself, express one’s feelings, and make mistakes without fear of judgment. While there is no practical limit on what types of people can form a friendship, friends tend to share common backgrounds, occupations, or interests, and have similar demographics.” Taken from: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friendship
She and I share almost nothing, except that she needs me, perhaps until she graduates, has to find her keys for the one-thousandth time, take the dog for a run because he is sitting in a hot house waiting.
And then there are times like these, where the neediness is in stereo, where it is worldwide because somehow as Jean Khalfa said of Foucault’s The History of Madness that “Decisions, limits and exclusions which took place at particular points…and indicate shifts in the way certain phenomena were experienced” plays to the rich-poor gap that represents a process of division through which a reality splits into radically different parts until a new realisation takes place, a synthesis which in itself is a new reality.” (See: The History of Madness, Introduction, p, XV)
This neediness appears in world politics (See: http://www.sfgate.com/news/world/article/Egypt-army-ousts-Morsi-who-decries-coup-4644336.php), where it is clear that the whole world is moving toward a place it can no longer tolerate injustice toward others.
For we are all linked to the injustices of our brothers and sisters and even though we too might be suffering, where we wield influence, we must act where it is clear we are called. And in my attention to her needs, I am being a friend, one who recognizes her near-graduation to a position in society that I helped to create.
But, I am only one person and I have myself to consider getting only two hours of sleep for the second time in a week, where the weeks repeat and the neediness grows. I can see it everywhere.
This is what is happening on the world front. We are shifting away from ourselves to each other and it is ripping and tearing. But, we can see the light at the end of the tunnel, which is not what we thought. It is to see neediness from all directions and to stand knee-deep in the morass of pleadings.
But, this is the feeling I felt when I traded my Gitane 10-Speed for Walter Yamamoto’s long-forked bike. I wanted to be among and not outside my brothers and sisters. To be separate and therefore unequal in my privilege to have had a $600 bike in the 70’s as a middle-schooler.
This is the essence of what erodes divisions and brings people together. We are social animals and in the end we have this need to belong and to take our place in the world as equals, because we are in it and not out and we cannot escape our ties to the very energy that courses through us.