This Way to the End


She believed him,

Honor accorded a woman lost in the world

Hearing sounds in her head

Then slapped

Into a sense of it.

As she woke, her

Body comes into view

And we can’t help but

Find ourselves responding to it.

Why would a beautiful woman

Commit suicide?

But then we realize the assignment

Of purpose.

Is a woman just to be looked at?

Filled from the open channel and then

To be ignored?

No wonder suicide is the only option.

But is it for a woman

This way to the end?

She inhales the smoke of her cigarette

After the failed attempt.

There isn’t enough information

To make this decision

Looking out a window

She cannot escape.


  1. Well, I would be very interested in why/what you thought was troubling? Then of course, I would add that none of it was based on reality but rather it was a response to watching the movie The Deep Blue Sea. I am very interested these days in a woman’s beauty and how, in this case, she was not protected by it.

    Again, I would be interested in what you thought before you knew it wasn’t real.

  2. Troubling because you give the impression you were inside this woman’s head, which made me wonder if you’d written it with someone in mind. It’s also troubling because the heroine wanted to kill herself and considered she had “failed” by not doing so…. Beauty is a consumable for many people – it makes a lot of women vulnerable.

  3. I am flattered that I was able to get into a woman’s head. I always have no idea. Well, I know when I’ve angered them, but still never quite why. Yes, troubling that the heroine wanted to kill herself and considered that a “failure,” but I had only meant that she failed to kill herself. I think she was indifferent about it, except that things only got worse for her. The sadness is that the “doctor” said that he thought she would try to kill herself again. I don’t know if you thought much about how long it takes to get out of these situations and they can almost be too time-consuming to be worth coming out of the water. Too often loneliness is the lifestyle and hope is the reality. You mention beauty as a consumable. I love that. The fleeting glance of a person on the horizon of visual pleasure for someone else and having never been seen for the person being objectified. I feel like this is the burden for a beautiful woman and for a man it is a race to appear as a safe place to rest. Aren’t we just peacocks flashing our feathers in the heat of the day? And the day comes to an end? We are all vulnerable to the truth. I am glad you spoke. Your first words were succinct and lovely, the rest of your words were the same. They are also beautiful. Your control of the language, what you say is deep and rich. This statement: “Beauty is a consumable for many people — it makes a lot of women vulnerable” is sublime, profound. The hyphen is like the perfect color for a house. I admire it. I admire the whole of your writing.

  4. We have liked this poem. It has a connection with your latest post about women being objectified. ( Patricia- Roger- Soraya).

  5. This Way To The End (poem) plus final poem of Blue Emptiness (Marga, Patricia, Soraya)

    Comment and questions:

    Hi Mario,
    We are Soraya, Marga and Patricia and we’ve read the latest poem of your book “Blue Emptiness”, Could you tell us an example of daily living. What is blue emptiness for you connected with the image of “his humble boat” that “swirls in blue emptiness”?

    About the poem “This way to the end”we´ve two questions:
    What did you use to create this poem?
    When you wrote this poem . Do you think in a special woman that you knew?

    Thanks for your answers

    • Daily life might relate to my ex-wife, who I told while on our vacation that I had spent all my money and that it was over. There was nothing more I could do. My humble boat was all I had as in my body, a reference to Marx’s statement about workers, who use their bodies and have nothing more, vs. Capitalists, who have machines that do their work and thus they are at a distance and with the employment of surplus capital grow rich exponentially, while men can only work so hard and so fast. The Capitalist employs bodies to do the work, to run the machines. Eventually, those bodies fail. The blue emptiness refers to an inherent sadness as a byproduct of this. Romance, like Richard Gere’s and his girlfriend Abby (Brooke Adams) in Days of Heaven (1978) flounders and gets corrupted because of monetary concerns, which of course are valid but are also created by a system. All the women I have loved: “When are you going to buy me a Cadillac?” or “I would expect that you would buy a diamond ring larger than the one my husband got me” or “All I want to do is lie around and make babies.” There is a sadness in this as well as an emptiness, a futility as well as pathetic superficiality of the women I loved. But, of course they were correct. This is what they wanted out of life.

      I was responding to the movie The Deep Blue Sea, where the main actress has an affair and is made to return to a life without passion because the man she fell in love with could not keep her in the manner she was accustomed. “The film takes its title from her dilemma of being caught between the Devil and the deep blue sea – two equally undesirable situations.” (Taken from Wikipedia about the movie.) It references general life, where the rich-poor gap between people has made it nearly impossible or highly unappealing to stay with someone, who can’t support you. I say that in terms of the custom of men taking care of women. Some men will tell the women they are attracted to anything to get them in bed. She was beautiful, seemingly had everything. Why would she commit suicide? But, we understand that she took a chance and loved only to find that love could not keep her and because love/lust is so real and vibrant, who would want to go back to ordinary?

  6. Comment again by Patricia, Loli and Marga as a response to yours on This Way To The End.(again I let them use my account due to technical problems – Marta):

    Hello Mario, once more thank you so much for all the explanations. Yes, we agree that the Capitalist system does not make it easy for love to fully succeed. We need to change many things and your poems make us think about that. Thank you for sharing all this with us.

    • I am interested in the argument that someone had said, it isn’t really one economic system, but people, who tend to hoard and leave others out. Corporations got the Supreme Court Justices to rule against the mandatory payment of dues by government employees who don’t want Unions, but who still benefit from them. Because, the process is a pyramid scheme, money eventually takes it all.

      • I personally believe potential power abuse is inherent to all human beings, but some will develop it more than others. The excessive hoarders become abusers, oppressors and parasites at the cost of the others depending on multiple circumstances like family and social environment, having been victims themselves and abused by others before, that is, seeking retaliation, even genetics as you pointed out with the Jews vs. the Palestinians. This case seems to be a combination of retaliation against Hitler, as you say, and probably this fact has affected their genetics, which does not mean that the Jewish are worse than other peoples. We must be careful with that. The Palestinians are no saints either. Both sides have weapons instead of nonviolent civil resistance movements and the US oligarchy makes it worse.

        I think you are right that it isn’t just in one economic system. That happens because of this inherence I have mentioned. However, for me capitalism is one of the worst ever as far as Maslow’s pyramid. I believe the only thing that is left for those like you, me and so many more citizens, is to do our little bit to try to prevent even worse. In this respect I strongly believe in nonviolent civil resistance movements at all levels of society. If employees do not want Unions in the US or elsewhere there has to be a nonviolent resistance, if migrant children are so horribly being separated from their parents the same applies. I loved what Erica Chenoweth said in that video and also the data she presented. That gives us at least a little bit of hope. 🍀

      • Maslow refers to a Hierarchy of Needs, like safety, self-actualization, physiological, and so forth that once addressed sprout up other needs. It’s not a bad thing, just inert. The pyramid scheme on the other hand is a knowing distribution of those serving people at the top, who benefit exponentially from those just below them and certainly those further in the outlying areas of service. Like a King to whom all give and serve. I agree with you about the potential of all and actual abuse as an inherent trait. We can’t help, for example, to trust but a few, who share our beliefs, attitudes, and values. Yes, I hope I made that clear about the Jews. I don’t blame them, I acknowledge the abuse the now extol. And certainly the Palestinians are resourceful and devious. They are at war with stones. Sometimes, nonviolence gets you killed. In a way, it is a kind of apathy. Weapons that melt your skin or bulldozers that plow your home are violent actions. The Trump administration wants to take away the right to protest, to censor the Press, which are inherent to our civil rights. And the treatment of migrants speaks to how they will treat us once they make the changes they are making. The tax bill may crush most Americans because 45% are already living in poverty and if Social Security is stolen, that will drive the older into the ground.

      • Thank you for the enlightenment about the Hierarchy of Needs and about the pyramid scheme. I agree with everything except with probably one thing: While being true that nonviolence gets you killed many a time (look at Gandhi’s revolution where millions of people died even though they did not use fire weapons to kill their oppressors), I would not say nonviolence is a kind of apathy in the sense of sitting on the sofa and doing nothing. It implies active actions but without fire weapons (unless you meant by apathy that the abuser(s) is/are too strong that you will already be killed whether you try to hit back or wait nonviolently for your death and so you choose to stand in front of them and do nothing?) I think nonviolence is often much more difficult to keep than to grab a weapon and fire. If someone has hurt you the first visceral reaction is to hurt them too. If they have killed a member of your family you want to kill them in retaliation. If someone is about to rape you, has already done so or is trying to kill you the immediate reaction is to defend yourself and kill them. I guess nonviolence will never work 100% but we should try to aim at this as much as possible because in general, as Eric Chenoweth points out in her video, it tends to be more successful than armed conflicts in the long run. But, of course, there are always human costs even in the best circumstances. In Spain “disobedient” politicians, nonviolent leaders of Catalan pro-independence movements and artists are jailed, in other countries they are immediately decapitated. I am also very worried about the US tax bill, the increasing poverty everywhere and the world migrant and refugee crisis.

      • Yes, it is interesting how when we act, we in a sense, bid adieu to our control, and in effect, allow the other to act in response. It is a bit like committing a crime and having no control over the punishment. We are not alone in our actions, and as one, who understands language, there are always two sides. I think that doing the “right thing” is the key, but sometimes we still make a mistake.

      • Like I said, we cannot control how the other will react nor that our words, for example, can articulate how we actually feel, which may also change. Do we have all the facts? Are we looking at the issue from point of view. Zizek said at times there are no connections between lines of thought; they remain in Parallax View.

      • I have not read the Parallax View, though I am interested and have just a rough idea about this. If different people are looking at the same issue from different points of view then I guess the only thing that can help is trying to develop empathic behaviors among the population through emotional intelligence as much as possible and at various society levels.

      • “The Real of the speculative dance of Capital, its self-propelling movement which seems to be disconnected from ordinary reality… Virtual capitalism could thus act as a first step toward liberation: it confronts us with the fact that the cause of our suffering and enslavement is not objective reality itself (there is no such thing) but our Desire, our craving for material things… renounce desire itself.” – Zizek, p. 383

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