Why Don’t All Men Speak Up For Women?

Why Don’t All Men Speak Up For Women?


Arwa Madhawai, columnist to The Guardian said on Sat 27 Jan 2018 10.00 EST that “male-only President’s Club Charity Dinner in London…[was] held [in] a swanky hotel…by…[male] business elite, [where it was] meant to raise money for good causes… [where] 150 scantily clad hostesses…paraded in front of…men and [were]…subject to groping and sexual harassment… A security guard…outside [for example]…women’s toliets…[ensured they]…were [not] too long.”

Madhawai commented that “business is still…a boy’s-only club. But…also [that journalism had the] power to change things.”

I am interested in the differentiation of her determination that “business” was a boy’s only club. She did not broaden her scope to say that the world was also a boy’s club. Although she is sitting in for Jessica Valenti whose regular column is called “Feminism — The week in patriarchy.” The scope of which is inherently broad. We live under the patriarchal system.

Madhawai followed mention of this story with gender pay gap for black women, where average women are paid in US 80% of what men are, black women make only 63% of what those men make. She cites allies Octavia Spencer and Jessica Chastain working together to get a better wage.

So, she maintains her focus on business and wage differential. I support her. I do not know of a reasonable rationale that calls for a pay differential unless and until it can be proven that women do not do as much or are as valuable. Here, however, I may have revealed a rationale, where, for example, as with law firms, rainmakers, as with business, are valuable assets. In a “man’s world,” it could be argued that until women are provided the same access, they may, in fact, be unable to draw as much business as men given relationships men have and clubs they are members of, where a broad law, like Brown v. Board of Education stops the inequality inherent in unequal access. Men and women are separate and thus unequal. They are in different places, have different priorities, values, beliefs, attitudes?

Do women have women-only fund-raisers? Do they parade scantily-clad male waiters? If not why not? If so, why?

I think we need to spend more time addressing why men do what they do. But, more importantly, we need to focus on why they cannot do what they do. The issue is women are discomforted by this and getting paid less for the reality. That is unacceptable. 2018 is going to be a milestone. But, so many women have been leading us up to this and why it has taken so long also needs to be addressed. I think these issues are being raised because we have actually been on the earth a short time and we have not moved that far from cavemen days or from the days when work was more an agrarian or nomadic event. We’ve passed through the industrial age and are now within the information age. That implies a different skill set and commercial value. Women are correct, and always have been correct in speaking up. Men should always honor them, but why have some not?


  1. This patriarchal society is wrong. We need more protection laws for the people. And for the women too. We have to take care of ourselves. Mothers need protection between and after getting pregnant. These physical and biological differences have been used to discriminate women.

    • Women need to be supported in the decisions they want to make, which is what I hear you saying. I told my friend the other day that the pro-choice movement seems to involve a 75% majority, since 50% would represent women, who no doubt would like to choose for themselves, and there must be at least 25% of men, who wouldn’t mind women making their own decisions. Those who do not support a woman’s right to decide lack imagination or empathy.

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