Invalid

I have the capacity to love only one. Her lack of interest leaves me alone. I will be no one without her. That she would love me validated me. Now that she has finalized our relationship, I am invalid.

My heart longs only for her. I show it others, but it balks: “She is the best you will ever have. You might as well die. There is no point. You cannot lie. You were not built for it.”


5 comments

  1. That is a difficult situation indeed. You may not find another woman who fills you so deeply, I mean intellectually and physically, ever again. Therefore, you will have to learn to live the rest of your life like this. However, I am sure you can make the best of it, Mario. Or perhaps you will find this person one day unexpectedly. I met some interesting women in the Bay Area. They were cultivated, read books and liked art. They were not shallow and materialistic. Who knows. As for your literary work I am happy a group of my students is taking interest and working on this quite independently from me. I am currently very busy in our non-violent political issues, afraid of the tense and uncertain situation in Catalonia. I fear the remote possibility, but still existing, to be arrested and jailed. I need to write about funny things. Do you like my latest post: https://momentsbloc.wordpress.com/2018/04/12/on-horses/

  2. The emotions for someone special and only for that person that stays even after that person leaves you, these emotions are beautiful. The love at the purest form, it’s beautiful. It’s poetic and it carries a story along , that makes it beautiful for me

    • I like that. Yes, these emotions for people we really care for never die. We carry our love, or “missing,” as my favorite ex used to say as proof you loved them, to our death. And like it was exclaimed by Paul Bowles in the cameo of his movie The Sheltering Sky that we only love three to four times and then we die. I have loved three times. Sadly, I think the people we love have their own great loves. It is hard to get two people to look into each other’s eyes and really mean it. One, according to Hugh Prather, is conspiring to get out.


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