Three Meals a Day and Housing

I read in a book on psychology, that when someone helps another person it is a cry for help. They help out of a deep empathy and fear.

For those who do not know how to help themselves or are denying what they should do, helping others stands as a distraction from what they should be doing, and for those, who may seek an external source for help, like God, it can mean irresponsibility.

Helping another person can be like taking the easy way out: “I do not know what to do, but I can help another person, so I will do that.

Hopefully, someone or something will know my heart, and help me too.”

I heard the story of a woman, who poured her heart and soul into a restaurant, which was very popular. She helped people and charged prices that were not high enough, and despite her success, she ended up with nothing. She may not have known how to run a business, that part of her was blind, and whether she should have sought help with that weakness and made that part of her personality less self-sacrificing, her eventual failure spoke of having faith that someone or something would swoop in and save her. She lived in a small room in another person’s house and was poor despite she was so well known for her cuisine.

I am an iPhone piano player. I have sent my music to famous musicians and famous record companies and will compete in America’s Got Talent. I am deluded to think that with all the musicians, who have actually studied music, that my sound, will somehow be the one, a kind of flute that will lead the children into a cave. And it will cost me money to fly and stay in Pasadena. Will the spirit hear my heart and lavish me with money enough to live well and retire? Or will I be the cheesy act, a John Cage, who brings his toy piano on stage, and who by this act of silliness gets notoriety?

The truth is something we must face, or perhaps as Bashar has said, we can choose our reality?

I don’t know for sure, but I believe that the truth is like a small voice that whispers in our ear. Perhaps, my sound is the deviant’s advantage, and like someone else said of contemporary music that there are only three notes used and everything is played with this sound. And while it isn’t necessarily a good sound, our ears adapt to it, and want it like the combination of sugar, fat, and salt.

I choose my reality of a house on the beach at Huntington Beach, CA and a top of the line car, but of course not really. I just want to retire with books I love, and the ability to travel the world, and to no longer worry about my health and money.

I hear in the back of my head the story of elderly, who are committing crimes, so that they can go to jail to get three meals a day and housing.


  1. This is a touching post because all the things you are telling here are the hard reality many people have to face. When we help others I think we always do it egoistically and altruistically at the same time. I agree that this is a psychological device we use when we do not know what to do with our own problems. However, whether knowing what to do with our lives or not, helping other people is usually self-rewarding. Our ego is satisfied.

    I am sad for the restaurant girl who tried to help others with lower prices, which made her poor, but at least, she is not homeless yet? I got the typical European person’s shock when I faced homelessness in the Bay Area in 2016. This terrible amount of homeless people would not happen in Europe even though more citizens are getting poorer day by day and evicted from their homes.

    I spent last night on the streets of Barcelona with other people to protest peacefully against the upcoming fake trial to our unjustly imprisoned Catalan pro-independence leaders. We also protested to call the right to self-determination. It was very cold for all of us protesters, windy, and there was even hail for a while. I thought of all the homeless people in the world then. We had 21 people, all members of the Catalan National Assembly (ANC) occuping the headquarters of the European Commission and the European Parliament in Barcelona. The rest of us stayed outside on the street and, occasionally, in a big tent, taking turns. Some of us stayed there almost all the time from Friday 7pm till Saturday 11am, not sleeping at all and enduring the cold weather. Link to the news:

    As for your music, you will see what happens. As I already told you, wish you all the best. We also had musicians on the street protest, one of them lost the sight of one eye because of a rubber bullet shot by the Spanish police during the peaceful referendum of October 1 in 2017. Rubber bullets were shot even though they became forbidden in Catalonia a few years ago, as well as in other countries, because a peaceful woman lost her eye.

    We have to keep the non-violent fight everywhere in the world, for democracy, human rights and justice for everybody.

    • Key here is that the ego is satisfied but the ego often ignores the work it takes to truly improve oneself and not to become a problem too. Everything seems to be controlled by money and power, and only until it makes better financial sense to help people and not shoot them in the eye, does it seem to change.

  2. Forgot to talk about the picture of your post, which I like very much. Looks like your self-portrait? I like it because the face is very expressive. This is the portrait of someone who is not indifferent to what happens, in this case, to what you are writing about here I guess. Indifference is the worst.

    • Yes, it’s me at fifty pounds overweight (which I am not actually), but I am that blob in an old man’s sweater, the inside screamer, frightened, regretful, comedic, because it is a comedy of errors thinking a toy piano could save the man, who gave everything to his art, the movie Mozart’s Salieri, general loser, and pompous confidant, whose seriousness is laughable, stingingly true, and who for a moment of realization, is the old bag of a woman realizing she isn’t cute at all, but ferociously ugly, faced in the morning by her picture. So many people come to the point of their realization of self, and laugh at the catastrophe they’ve created, standing in art works of no merit, like garage sale relics that people question at even a dollar, but soon realize they would just create clutter. No, my entire oeuvre is a hoarder’s trade, “I am lying…I write…I am delirious…I am mad… I am an animal…, or I am God…or I am a sign…or even the truth,” (Foucault).

      Our distance from the truth is a form of madness that allows for the truth to be extinguished and live in a world like that is pure insanity, (Foucault).

      • Those who, like you, try to get to the truth through art and writing are usually invisible to the masses and, consequently, not valued except for a minority of us. Yes, we are a minority of people who refuse to distance ourselves from the truth whether knowing about Foucault or not. I personally love his philosophy of awakening, his deep analysis of the perverse structural powers that always make the poorest, the rebellious, the outsiders and, therefore, the weakest people suffer and thus become insane and locked away instead of preventing all this because it would all turn against those powers. Also, I like the Foucault quotations of your comment very much because they have the great emotional intensity of “the inside screamer” while still being the product of cold reasoning with the intellect. I think these quotations match perfectly your tragicomic self-portrait.

  3. Your friend from MOMENTS put me on to you! Your prose is as quality-filled as her poetry. So am following. BUT—PLEASE consider putting text into paragraphs so this elderly gentleman might find it easier to read! PLEASE!

  4. Everyone chose their own reality, what a wonderful phrase, really made me think! We can always help others and that way can help ourselves, wow never thought like that! Thanks for sharing!

  5. Interesting read. I enjoyed it.

    Perhaps there’s something in the claim that our altruistic works are a cry for help in some way. A lot of the things we undertake in this life are what I would call ‘acts of longing’- expressions of a desire for an ultimately perfect state of affairs for the individual who acts. Perhaps this is even true for every single act- even if some of those acts don’t appear to us as such upon first inspection.

    I believe that the appeal to God is potentially the purest form of our expression of this longing.

    But one question you consider, as I see it, is whether the individual who wants to help others has helped themselves enough to be able to extend their hands to the needy. I agree that we should be honest about our inability to help others when we can’t. Otherwise, our altruistic acts would actually be expressions of egotism in disguise.

    Your writing is great!

    • I heard a quote this evening presented by Lyn Hejinian that sadness was a weakness. Thank you for reading and responding to my work. Yes, we long to be discovered by a lover who completes us. This of course is absurd. Sex is a mere distraction of self. Although I cannot speak for women, who seem to be completely removed from such superficiality. Yes, and this perfect temperature in the room, hunger abated, being clean, secure, the hierarchy of needs attended to. At this point, I wonder why absolute infatuation is met with indifference or loathing? I usually thank God for the ease of which I mortify my life. Like I said I have been waiting for this one woman for at least ten years.

      Yes, before we can help others, we have be responsible for ourselves.

      You are too kind about my writing. Thank you again for attending mine. Namaste.

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